November 5, 2009 – 8:15 am
The New York Yankees haven’t won a World Series in nine hours. George Steinbrenner rose from his sarcophagus early this morning furious that his team hadn’t won any more championships while he was sleeping. He immediately called Brian Cashman and woke him up to scream at him about the Yankees need to win a 28th [...]
November 3, 2009 – 2:59 pm
Phillies’ manager Charlie Manual announced his starting pitchers for game 6 and 7 of the World Series: Cliff Lee. The Phillies’ ace is coming off a game 5 win on Monday, after pitching a complete-game win in game 1, and will be coming off a two day rest and zero day rest between his next [...]
November 2, 2009 – 8:46 am
Yes, Johnny Damon became famous as one of the key guys on a team that bragged about being a bunch of idiots. Yes, he married a stripper who he started dating because his friend Derek Lowe, who was nailing her at the time, said “Dude, you have to sleep with this chick. It’s awesome!” But [...]
October 30, 2009 – 3:21 pm
Good morning , Bud Selig. Did you sleep well? I f#cking hope not. Your playoffs have been a joke, with at least 7 horrendous calls that easily could have been overturned with instant replay. But you don’t want instant replay because you’re a baseball “purist.” Really? Where was your baseball purity when you turned a [...]
October 29, 2009 – 10:00 am
I think I covered all the cheesy puns that will appear on sports pages this morning. News papers are predictable. Maybe THAT’s why they’re going out of business, because they use puns as headlines. Anyway, Cliff Lee pitched one of the great games in World Series History last night. It would have been a shutout [...]
October 29, 2009 – 8:15 am
In last night’s World Series game 1, Chase “Dapper Dan” Utley hit two homers to break a stalemate between Cliff Lee and CC Sabathia. Eventually, the Phillies went on to score a few more runs against the Yankees bullpen after Utley “Chase-d” CC from the game (see what I did there?). And Cliff Lee went [...]
October 27, 2009 – 11:11 pm
The World Series is here! There are so many cool angles to this matchup. There are the two best lineups in baseball, two great three-man rotations, former teammates and back-to-back Cy Young winners CC Sabathia and Cliff Lee facing off in game 1 (and maybe more than once), Pedro vs. the Yankees in a contest [...]
By Jeremy Hawn
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Posted in Baseball
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Also tagged Alex Rodriguez, Brad Lidge, CC Sabathia, Chase Utley, Cliff Lee, Derrek Jeter, Jimmy Rollins, Mariano Rivera, Mark Texiera, MLB, Pedro Martinez, Phillies, Ryan Howard, Yankees
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October 26, 2009 – 8:52 am
The Yankees beat the Angels last night to advance to the World Series for the first time since 2003. They also haven’t won since 2000. Did you know that? Because apparently they are supposed to win every year. A whole 6 years since they’ve been there? And we somehow survived? 8 years since they’ve won, [...]
October 22, 2009 – 9:12 am
You like that title? Does it’s cheesiness bother you? I’m actually positive that some newspaper out there is running that exact title without any sense of how reprehensible it is. News papers love puns and sh*t. Anyway, the Phillies clinched their World Series birth yesterday after having a 9 inning victory lap around the Dodgers. [...]
October 19, 2009 – 2:24 pm
As if quoting Roy Jones Jr.’s terrible rap debut, the Phillies came out yesterday and reminded everyone why they were the defending champs and the favorites to win the NL this season. They d*ck-slapped the Dodgers to the tune of 11-0, including a Ryan Howard triple. If you can’t keep Ryan Howard from running from [...]
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