Tag Archives: Patriots

Big Fat Person Key to Victory

In assessing the first round NFL playoff matchups, ESPN’s Mark Schlereth named fat man Vince Wilfork the key to the Patriots victory, and presumably the one to blame if they lose.  The Patriots hopes to advance to the next round now lie on his broad, fat shoulders.  He must use his tremendous girth to lift [...]

Eye Candy / Eye Rape, Week 9 Edition

It’s time for our weekly football column!  This week’s games were fun to watch, but not for the football being played.  Let’s dive in!

Racist Team Name V Falcons
Any game involving The Unconscionably Racist Team from DC Whose Name I Refuse To Type is automatically eye rape.  They’re terrible, they’re coach is a dead man walking, [...]

Eye Candy / Eye Rape

Welcome to another addition of Eye Candy / Eye Rape where I rate the NFL games this week in turms of their watchability.  Let’s get going:
Texans vs. 49ers: The first half was some brutal eye rape, but then the 49ers came back and almost tied it.  Plus, we got to see Alex Smith look like [...]

A Great Excuse to Watch This Clip

David Tyree signed with the Ravens yesterday.  That’s all the excuse I need to re-watch the greatest play in Super Bowl history.

Eye Candy / Eye Rape

Happy Tuesday, and welcome to our weekly NFL wrap-up.  We’re ranking games that you couldn’t turn away from and games that you couldn’t pay me to watch.  There is no in-between.  Let’s get started.
Jets/Dolphins
Wildcat wildcat wildcat wildcat wildcat.  I thought this was going to be a trend in football that died out quickly, like the [...]