Q. So what exactly is the typical NFL player’s off-season like?

A. Well, after verbally and physically assaulting somebody who is undoubtedly smaller than I, I might then strike an officer who is merely rushing to the rescue of said smaller person.  Shortly after that, I think that it might be really, really fun to tease the starving pit-bulls at my house (the ones that haven’t died in the ring yet) with a steak and then leave them home with my small child.  Or, I might just watch a movie.  I need to rest up so I can skip my team’s workouts and then funnel some beers in Vegas with the Shockman.  Of course, I need to meet with my lawyer about my false claims as well as my contract holdout.

Oh, can you please hold on?  Brett Favre is texting me right now to ask if I just “like” the Vikings or if I “LIKE them like them”. Man, that’s a tough question.  What should I say?  I don’t want to come on too strong!  It’s almost as tough as the decision my team’s GM just made when he chose to break the rules in signing our new free agent acquisition over hiring a facility advisor who just got released from jail.

Oh what was I saying?

Oh yeah, the off-season!  I don’t really have any specific plans, but I figure I’ll find a way to get arrested somehow.  Maybe I’ll just go to a club and get in a fight.  You know, just take it easy.

Actual Screengrab from ESPN NFL page on 5/26/09