Greg Oden is sad that his nekkid pictures got out. But not as sad as the people who accidentally saw them.

Gregg Oden can now be added to the list of celebrities with naked pictures circulating on the interwebz.  Since neither I, nor anyone else, would willfully seek out and look at these pictures, one can only speculate as to how disgusting he looks in his birthday suit.  The one question I have is: Which is more wrinkly, his forehead or his nut sack?  These are the questions that “hard-hitting” journalists dare not ask.  That’s why you come to me… for the scrotum questions.

After a few years of toiling on a sh*tty Portland Trailblazers team, Randolph won the NBA’s Most Improved Player Award in 2004, and the team looked like it was on the up-and-up. They had Randolph and Rookie Of The Year: Brandon Roy. On top of that, they were set to draft supposed Wilt Chamberlain part II: Greg Oden. Immediately, Randolph was traded to the Knicks for Steve Francis and Channing Frye. The rumor was that the brass in Portland did not want Randolph ’s poor attitude rubbing off on Oden. So they decided to trade for model citizen: Steve Francis. WTF?!?!

Perennial losers, the Los Angeles Clippers (former team of greatest-name-ever finalist World B. Free) acquired Randolph from the Knicks in 2008. After losing 324 games last season, they selected Blake Griffin as the top pick in the 2009 draft. And what do they immediately do? Of course, they trade Randolph. And again, Randolph is traded for another guy who has been accused of a$$hole-ery: Quentin Richardson.

So my question is: what exactly is Zach Randolph like as a person? Is he, in fact, the NBA’s biggest a$$hole? Does he use his mind games to coerce young players into stealing cars? Does he smoke butts down by the old dam? Is he looking to throw five on it, AND get a couple of 40’s, too?

Or maybe the NBA is starting to realize that team character might matter. Probably not though.

"SLOOOOTH LOOOOOVE CHUUUUNK!!!"