Pick Ups:

This is Randy Choate.  He is a relief pitcher in the Tampa Bay bullpen.  He has gotten more saves than anyone else in their bullpen since Troy Percival went on the DL.  He hasn’t blown a save yet, unlike J.P. Howell who has blown a whopping 5 saves while collecting only 2. And Choate hasn’t given up a run in five straight appearances.  He’s got an ERA of 1.93 and a WHIP of 0.43.  It’s basically a matter of time before he’s their full-time closer.

Ian Stewart has been called the 3rd base Chase Utley.  He struggle early with his batting average (probably due to his irregular play under former manager Clint Hurdle), but has spent the last week out-hitting all of baseball.  The Utley comparison is unfair though, since he is also eligible at 2B and OF.  This makes him extremely valuable as a utility guy or a replacement for injury.  And if he keeps hitting like this, should crack starting lineups in no time.  He is especially valuable in keeper leagues.

Randy Wells is a recent call up from the Iowa Cubs.  He was brought up as a temporary fill-in when Carlos Zambrano went on the DL in early May, then got to stay with the big league team when Rich Harden got hurt (again).  So what has Wells done in his time “filling in” for the Cubs?  Oh, just post a 1.86 ERA and a 1.01 WHIP in 5 starts.  You know, no biggie.  Sure, he hasn’t won a game yet.  But that’s mostly due to Carlos Marmol and Aaron Heilman blowing the leads he has given them.  Wells has been so good that he has knocked Sean Marshall (he of lifetime 3.80 ERA) to the bullpen instead fo the other way around.  Wells is in the rotation to stay, and you’d be stupid not to grab him.

Scott Feldman just lost for the first time in nine starts this year.  He currently has a 5-1 record with a 4.01 ERA and 1.22 WHIP (which are excellent numbers for anyone whose home starts are in the Ballpark at Arlington).  He is currently fighting it out with Jason Marquis for the title of “Best Jewish Starting Picher in the MLB.”  There is only a first place and a second place (there is an actual discussion for position players, though, between Braun, Youkilis, and Kinsler).  He doesn’t strike a lot of people out, but he should rack up plenty of wins for the division-leading Rangers.  He’s available in half of the leagues on CBS, so grab him if he’s available in your league.

Drops:

Troy Tulowitzki isn’t turning it around.  Neither his batting average or his power are showing any signs of life.  Making matters worse is the emergence of Ian Stewart, who is leading the team in HR despite limited at bats.  Working Stewart into the lineup will force Tulo onto the bench occasionally to keep Barmes’ bat in the game (though his glove will keep him from being benched permanently).  Basically, Tulo is worthless as a fantasy player.

Willy Tavarez is usually worth owning just for his huge steal and decent run totals, and you just put up with his low average and RBI total.  But he is suffering through hamstring issues right now and has been terrible even before his injury.  It’s hard to get steals when you’re not getting on base, or even into the lineup.  Try to trade Tavarez to someone who needs steals.  He’ll come around some time this year, but hamstrings are tricky so there’s no telling when he’ll get back to full speed.

Chris Davis sucks my pubic hair.  I drafted this guy in two of my leagues, and I couldn’t regret it more.  His batting averaged was a huge drag to my roto team and his astounding strikeout total was ruining me in my points league.  I dropped him like Tyson did these guys.  This guy is fucking useless in fantasy and to his team right now.  He needs to be sent to the minors to learn how to make contact.  Everyone is wondering what the hell is wrong with David Ortiz because he’s hitting .200, but for some reason the Rangers aren’t worried about their young slugger hitting .200.  Yes, Davis is on pace for over 30 homers, but he’s also on pace for 200 strikeouts.

There you have it.  Heed my advice or don’t.  These moves worked for me, and they should work for you too.

Tip: Pick up Dontrelle Willis NOW.  Have you not learned anything from watching Zack Greinke?  It’s the same goddamn story!  Talented pitcher gets derailed by depression/anxiety and it throws off his game.  He takes control of his personal life and his straightens out his issues and proceeds to dominate.  The only difference between the two is that we know just how good Dontrelle can be.  This is a former 22-game-winning ace.  At his best, he is as good as any pitcher in baseball.  I thin kit would make for a great story if both he and Chris Carpenter could return to form of their Cy Young duel in 2005.  “What you talkin’ ’bout” Willis has two appearances thus far, and the results were a decent four run allowance in 5 innings and a 6 inning shutout.  His ERA is just over 3 1/2 runs, and he’s supposed to be rusty.  GRAB HIM NOW WHILE YOU CAN.

Gripes: CBS Sports is easily the best website for fantasy.  They just have so many more features than either Yahoo or ESPN (the only other two I’ve used).  But here’s one thing that bothers me: lineups have to be set an hour before the first game of the day.  In Yahoo, you can wait to sub out a player up until the time that his game has started, allowing for you to see if he is on the lineup card for that day before deciding weather to play him or not.  With CBS’s current rules, you just have to guess on weather or not a player like Ian Stewart will get at bats that day, or will waste a spot in your lineup that could go to someone else who will actually be playing.  Other than that, though, CBS seriously is running a train on the other fantasy sites.

Grumbles: Why the fuck did I drop Joel Piniero just hours before he pitched a complete game shutout?!?!?  Damn it!!!  Seriously though, he had two bad outings in a row, and I needed to free up a spot on my roster for Chris Carpenter later in the week.  I could have waited until after his turn in the rotation to drop him, but I fiugured my Cubbies would rough him up pretty good.  Maybe I should have paid more attention to his home/road splits (he’s been great at Busch Stadium).  Goddamn I’m an idiot.

Bragging: I have Evan Longoria in both of my keeper leagues (including one league from last year in which I have him FOR A DOLLAR on my cap).  That team will be good forever with that kind of production for literally next to nothing out of my budget.  Also, in my other keeper league, I got him for $36 dollars in this years draft, while my brother paid $55 for David Wright.  I’m not saying that David Wright isn’t worth that much, but… well, yes I am.  Wright isn’t worth the same as Pujols.  Plus, Longoria is better, straight up.  And he will be better possible forever.  We’ve seen Wright at close to his apex, but there is no ceiling or precedent for Longoria.  He is one of the top 3 players in baseball in only his second year, and at age 24.  AND I HAVE HIM FOREVER!

Arguments: I don’t think Dan Uggla is going to turn his season around.  I think he’s done.  His numbers right now are about .190 with 4 homers.  His numbers after the All-Star break last year (in which he had 3 Ks and 3 errors; the worst All-Star game by anyone ever) was about .190 with 4 homers.  I’m not saying that he will absolutely never get any better than this, I’m just saying he’ll definitely never be as good again as he was over the last 2-3 years.  That’s why I traded him for Marco Scutero (not in a keeper league though, because Scutero is having a career year at age 33).

Tales of the Bizarre: John Lackey’s debut.  I had Lackey on my DL all year until last week.  This was an exceptional burden when I had Kuroda, Carpenter, Zambrano, and Morrow also land on the DL, while only having 2 DL spots allowed in my league.  Needless to say that my pitching was devastated, and the only light at the end of the tunnel lie with getting John Lackey into my rotation to justify the money I spent on him to take up space on my injury list.  So when his first start came around, I was excited.  I started talking shit to my friend ho I was playing against that week, and generally hyping up the even.  Then when the game started, John Lackey decided that his first pitch should be a “message” to Ian Kinsler, who had killed the Angels the night before.  Lackey threw the pitch behind him.  Message definitely received.  Then, Lackey got stupid.  His next pitch drilled Kinsler and he got tossed.  Nice work dumb ass.  A month and a half wait to start the season and you get tossed after two pitches.  Thanks for making it worth the wait.  Oh well, at least he gets two starts this week.