"Bitch better get me number 28!"

The New York Yankees haven’t won a World Series in nine hours.  George Steinbrenner rose from his sarcophagus early this morning furious that his team hadn’t won any more championships while he was sleeping.  He immediately called Brian Cashman and woke him up to scream at him about the Yankees need to win a 28th championship ASAP.  When Cashman pointed out that they just won number 27 last night, Steinbrenner replied, “The Yankees don’t settle for past glory.  We can’t rest on our laurels based on past success.  We go out and win every day.”  When Cashman pointed out that it’s impossible to win today, as the baseball season just ended and won’t resume until February, Steinbrenner dismissed him with, “The Yankees don’t make excuses.  If you can’t get me championship number 28, then I’ll find someone else who can.”  Cashman then had no choice but to immediately sign Carlos Delgado, Mark DeRosa, Chone Figgins, Jason Bay, Matt Holliday, Rick Ankiel, Vladimir Guerrero, Ken Griffey Jr., Rich Harden, and Jason Veritek (just to stick it to Sox fans).