Posts In: Fantasy Island

Brian Roberts Can Eat a Pile of Dicks

Everyone has at least one guy on their fantasy team who screws them every year.  This year, my guy is Brian Roberts.  He’s been a steady second baseman for his whole career, and there was no reason to believe that would change any time soon.  But Brian Roberts had different ideas, and he’s now on [...]

Tone Puts His Dogs Into Jeremy Hawn’s Bathtub

Jeremy Hawn is the cockiest person I know.  When we began discussing that we’d be facing one another in the first round of our fantasy football playoffs, he was immediately convinced that I didn’t have a chance.  I played it cool, complimented his players, and said that he might be wrong.  I guess that he [...]

My Response to Twan. (Brought to you by the letters “F” and “U”)

[Editor's Note: this letter is a response to Mark Twan's continual trash talk after beating me in our fantasy football league this week.]
Twan,
Yes, you beat me in fantasy football.  It was my first loss since week three, after spending consecutive weeks tearing through an undefeated team and a one-loss team.  You ended my four game [...]

Loser of the Week – Jeremy Hawn

When you run a sports blog, one would assume that you know a thing or two about sports, and Jeremy Hawn is no exception to that assumption.  His knowledge of football is vast, his insight on players is bountiful, and his mustache is all too often the topic of conversation.  While most people are watching [...]

This One’s for the Chi

I try not to make my posts on this website Chicago-centric.  I think if you scroll through the previous posts you’ll see that I do a good job of it.  But this posts is strictly for my hometown peeps.  Two things happened in Chicago sports today that I just have to talk about.
First, the good [...]

Prepare to Cry Like a Bitch

Here’s a couple tearjerkers for you:  First a story about Vince Young picking up the slack and taking care of Steve McNair’s fatherless kids.  Apparently McNair’s youngest sons had a breakfast event through their school with all of the kid’s dads this morning.  McNair’s kids had to hear all week how excited the other kids [...]

Welcome Back Dice K, and May I Add: Fuck You

Dice K Matsuzaka made a triumphant return to the mound last night, going 6 1/3 innings without letting in a run.  He came back from an unusual injury that is best described as fat and belligerent.  You see, Dice K showed up to spring training out of shape, despite pitching brilliantly in the World Baseball [...]

I was like um…. 23.7 Points Up Bitch!

I haven’t ever played fantasy anything; that is unless you count the voluminous sexual fantasies that I have envisioned over the years. However, I decided this year would be different. I partook in my virgin NFL fantasy football draft last night, and my fifth round draft pick Santonio Holmes just came through big [...]

Please, He Prefers to be Called “Pot Head”

I just saw the following headline on CBS Sports fantasy baseball homepage:

Yeah, THAT’LL solve your problems, Omar Minaya.  What’s he gonna do?  Keep all the other players from getting fat by hogging all the sunflower seeds for himself?  Didn’t the Mets organization read Twan’s piece on performance killing drugs?  I mean, I know that Doc [...]

Thoughts on the Deadline Deals

Hey there readers.  I know that everyone has already weighed in on the trades made right before the deadline, but I have an excuse for being late to the party.  There was a  wedding in The Other Fifteen family, as our Vice President and Co-Creator Patrick Carey got married to his longtime better half.  It [...]