Posts In: Basketball

Sports Announcer Endorsed Products

With the release of Tim McCarver’s groundbreaking debut album, Songs by Dead People for the Nostalgia of Old People, several of his contemporaries are jumping on the bandwagon to shamelessly cash in on their names while they can.  Here are a few products endorsed by sports announcers:

No One Wants to See That

Gregg Oden can now be added to the list of celebrities with naked pictures circulating on the interwebz.  Since neither I, nor anyone else, would willfully seek out and look at these pictures, one can only speculate as to how disgusting he looks in his birthday suit.  The one question I have is: Which is [...]

Derrick Rose Pwning the Suns

That’s our point guard.  He’s 6′3″ and he’s throwing down like he’s Shawn Kemp.  And he’s only 21.  There is no precedence, and no ceiling for this kid.  Notice at the end that he has to duck under the back board to avoid hitting his head after he gets bumped by Dragic.  Speaking of which, [...]

Joe Dumars, Bring These Guys a Sandwich

I was just watching the Knicks/Pistons game and I noticed what looked like a broom handle with a number 5 jersey playing for the Pistons.  Turns out it was rookie Austin Daye.  I didn’t think there would be a player who could out-skinny Tayshaun Prince, but Daye is looking to take his title.  Here’s a [...]

I don’t Believe in Curses…

… the Clippers just suck.  And have bad luck.  And bad karma.  And a shitty team.  And a racist, stingy owner.  And no fan support.  And no stadium of their own.  I think it’s about time the Clippers are officially bestowed the title “Worst Sports Franchise on Earth.”
In case you didn’t hear, the Clippers number [...]

Merry Xmas, Vinny. You’re fired.

When Vinny del Negro wakes up on Christmas Eve, I hope he finds a pink slip under his tree.  While this might seem harsh to you who don’t know, the Bulls have actually done just that to two previous coaches (Scott Skiles and Tim Floyd).  Yes, he brought us to the playoffs last year, but [...]

Hey small market teams, eat sh*t and die.

The baseball off-season has been slow to develop, unless your team was already awesome.  The Yanks got Granderson; the Sawx got Lackey and Mike Cameron; the Phillies traded one ace to Seattle (Lee) for another from Toronto (Halladay); the Angels got Matsui; the Mets will probably land Jason Bay; the Cardinals are desperate to re-sign [...]

Ron Artest is an Insane Person

I’m going to take a guess and say that Ron Artest has some legitimate mental health issues.  If you couldn’t tell from history of punching random fans in the face, elbowing opponents in the head, joking about killing a teammate, etc., then I’m sure you can finally be convinced by his last year’s worth of [...]

Everyone’s Favorite New Underdog

This is Will Bynum.  He’s maybe 5′11″, and has spent the last few years playing in the NBA Developmental League and on Maccabi Tel Aviv.  Now he’s dunking all over NBA squads and winning over new fans by the minute.  Commence your own fan-dom starting… now.

The other college football week 11

I missed last week’s picks because I was busy with my real job. Glad I did, because I most certainly would have picked Iowa to beat Northwestern. Just goes to show what a fool I am. They can’t play offense, it turns out. Only defense.
They’re in luck, because Ohio State can’t seem to play offense [...]