Those poor, poor, Kansas City fans.

As we all know, the Royals have some…. problems. The Kansas City Star devoted their entire baseball preview section to the Royals’ horrid defense. The Royals sign guys like Kyle Farnsworth and Jason Kendall and find nothing wrong with this. They have no bullpen to speak of.

And that’s just the baseball-related problems.

Despite this, the Royals have quite possibly the best cadre of local coverage in all of baseball. Joe Posnanski. Sam Mellinger. Like, three beat writers. Raney. Rob Neyer. And so on and so forth.

It’s easy to see that Kansas Citians (is that the correct demonym?) know their baseball. And I’ve concluded that the Royals fanbase is easily one of the smartest, most cerebral, and most cynically pessimistic in all of sports. And therefore, one of the best.

Look at fans of other chronically bad teams: Cubs fans are, if anything, annoyingly optimistic. Pirates fans don’t care as much that they lose all the time because they have the Penguins and Steelers. Nationals fans don’t exist yet. Padres fans are in San Diego, meaning they have better things to do when the Pads suck. Indians fans are stuck in Cleveland. They’re pessimistic, but they’re hardly cerebral (trust me on this one).

But you’re in Kansas City, what else are you going to do? Watch the Chiefs?

Royals fans know their place, and they know their shit. Last Sunday, about five guys sitting behind us (I went with my dad, who visited for the occasion) had some sort of quip for every Royals player on the roster. They knew EVERY SINGLE stat. They knew things about Yuniesky Betancourt’s VORP that I didn’t even know existed.

When Yuni hit a two-run home run off Verlander that juuuuust cleared the fence, the guys, along with everyone else in the stadium, waited a minute before actually standing to cheer. They had to make sure they believed what they had just seen.

From somewhere behind me, someone yelled, “That was a no doubter!” Everyone giggled.

After that, Billy Butler was put out, and the dudes in back shouted something like, “Hey Billy! How does it make you feel that Yuni’s got a higher OPS than you right now!”

Everyone in the section laughed at this, as if it was normal to taunt your own players using Sabermetric statistics.

‘Am I in some sort of twilight zone?’ I thought to myself. I felt like I had walked into a convention for baseball bloggers. Except there were 45,000 of them and they all seemed like normal Midwesterners wearing blue (estimated that about 1/8 of the blue being worn was Kansas Jayhwaks apparel and not Royalswear, but whatever). A lot of college indie-type kids and a lot of fat guys who look like they eat a lot of barbecue. Definitely not the “mom’s basement” crowd you’d think for the kinds of insults being slung (“Hey Cruz, you realize your ERA is infinity, right?”)

So my whole point here is, I’m slowly becoming a fan of Royals fans. If I wasn’t a Tigers fan, I’d probably be a fan of the team itself. As it is, the Royals and their fans are hard to hate. At one point during the game— that 6-run inning the Tigers put together on that pitiful KC bullpen— I stood up and cheered wildly. It was after Trey Hillman had taken out one reliever. On the very first pitch from the next reliever, one of the Tigers singled.

Anyway, we stood up and cheered. I was wearing my Brandon Inge t-shirt (yes, I own such a thing, asshole). My dad and I were vastly outnumbered, but stood up anyway. At this point, it was something like 6-4 with no outs and runners on second and third. Some guy way in the back of our section yelled “Sit your ass down!”

And that was literally the only vitriol we received throughout the entire game. An inning later I was out in the smoking area talking to a KC fan and told him where I was sitting. “Oh yeah!” he says. “You’re the guy who I told to sit his ass down! How’s it going?” We discussed intricacies of baseball and the economy for the next ten minutes (I’m not even joking).

Now, I’ve been to Tigers-White Sox games on the South Side. I’ve been to games in Cleveland: That kind of thing would never happen there. Those guys are assholes. I’ve never been to games in Boston or New York, but I’ll guess it’s the same. In those places, you’re just the enemy. (On the same token, I’m proud to say that in Detroit, unless you root for the White Sox and not being an asshole in return, you’re generally cool with us. Now, rooting for other hockey teams are a different story…)

Listen folks, maybe it’s because they’re bad, or maybe they just accept their fate as clown princes of baseball. But the whole point of this post is: I consider myself a proud fan of Royals fans. You should too. I think you’ll love them.

Now that baseball is actually back, I’m going to try and post more often. Anyone miss me? (You don’t have to lie).

The half-Irishman in me is disappointed, but not so much that I really want to see Henry’s head on a platter like the entire country of Eire. Well, at least he admitted to it just a few minutes ago.

So, who’s ready for the World Cup?

Can Boise get back in to the BCS despite their schedule? Our debate continues.

I missed last week’s picks because I was busy with my real job. Glad I did, because I most certainly would have picked Iowa to beat Northwestern. Just goes to show what a fool I am. They can’t play offense, it turns out. Only defense.

They’re in luck, because Ohio State can’t seem to play offense these days either. This might be the most boring big-name Big 10 game in a long while. I’ll get to it later.

Meanwhile, I want to talk about something I mentioned earlier this week. Boise State recently said they were having a lot of trouble scheduling any games for 2011. There was a list of BCS schools 10-deep, they said, that wouldn’t schedule them.

Our other college football expert Steve Knox gave me something of a rebuttal today. He makes a great point in saying that the big-conference teams have no reason to schedule teams like Boise State or TCU, because it does them no good, win or lose. I agree with this.

But he also says, and I quote: “[...] why should Florida have to schedule another difficult game when they’ve already got games against Tennessee, Alabama, LSU, Georgia and an annual non-conference game against Florida State? Just because they’re the #1 team in the country doesn’t mean they should have to kill themselves week-in and week-out.”

Well, my response would be, if a team calls themselves the best team in the country they SHOULD kill themselves week-in and week-out. Why the hell shouldn’t we expect a top-tier football team to give 100% effort every week? If the Gators really are that good, they would be expected to be able to play teams like Boise State and TCU in addition to their regularly-scheduled conference games.

And if they can’t? Well, maybe they don’t deserve to be called the “best”.

Now, onto the picks.

Big East
As I write this, the Bearcats have just pulled ahead of the Mountaineers. And until they stop scheduling them, I will keep complaining about Friday night college football. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Notre Dame (6-3) at Pittsburgh (8-1)
The Irish are one of few teams in the country that can teeter on decent and yet still be in BCS consideration. However, I think last week’s loss to Navy put an end to that once and for all. I still love Golden Tate, but ND’s pass defense is horrible. Pitt, meanwhile, has quietly racked up an 8-1 season and No. 12 BCS ranking. I haven’t watched Pitt much but this should be a fairly good game I think. Panthers should win.

Syracuse (3-6) at Louisville (3-6)
The perfect storm of Big East suck. I’ll go with the Cards at home.

Big 12
No. 3 Texas (9-0, 5-0) at Baylor (4-5, 1-4)
I still think Texas will get upset. But Baylor is not the team that will do it. I think they used up all their upset power for 2009 by beating Mizzou for the first time ever.

Missouri (5-4, 1-4) at Kansas State (6-4, 4-2(
Speaking of which, Mizzou really sucks this year, huh? I mean, they were never that good the past two years anyway (as evidenced by their painful Big 12 championship showings). But now they really suck. K-State, on the other hand, can lock up another Big 12 North championship for Bill Snyder. I think he has proved this year that he is a football genius. They were nothing before him, nothing after him and before him again. I think the Purplecats need to keep him a zombie forever. Of course, they win this week.

Colorado (3-6, 2-3) at Iowa State (5-5, 2-4)
Cyclone fans, if they haven’t already jumped off a bridge following their hometown basketball star’s recent decision to go to UNC, must be pretty pleased with their football season so far. A win gets them bowl eligible. They should hold on at home.

Nebraska (6-3, 3-2) at Kansas (5-4, 1-4)
Nebraska is (slowly) regaining their rightful place in the pantheon of the football elite. Kansas is also slowly regressing to their rightful place of waiting for basketball season. The world is as it should be.

Texas A&M (5-4, 2-3) at Oklahoma (5-4, 3-2)
OU hadn’t lost to the Huskers in a while. Or maybe it hasn’t been that long, but it sure seems like a lifetime ago. Either way, they’ll come out this week and dominate after that one.

Texas Tech (6-3, 3-2) at No. 19 Oklahoma State (7-2, 4-1)
At the beginning of this season, this would have been the game of the year in the Big 12. It’s lost a lot of that luster but it should be great fun to watch. I’ll go with the Pokes at home.

Big Ten
Well, at least the Hawkeyes saved us the agony of Big 10 teams trying to argue their conference into relevance (Full disclosure: That guy would have been me). Now we get to see who “deserves” to play in the Rose Bowl.

Michigan (5-5, 1-5) at No. 20 Wisconsin (7-2, 4-2)
Michigan will finish 1-7 in the Big Ten this year despite managing to win 4 other games. Somehow, this is even worse than last year.

Indiana (4-6, 1-5) at No. 18 Penn State (8-2, 4-2)
Indiana might even finish ahead of Michigan this year.

South Dakota State at Minnesota (5-5)
Wake me up when the Gophers win by 80.

Northwestern (6-4, 3-3) at Illinois (3-6, 2-5)
Somehow, this is Illinois’ last conference game. I’m sure they are very pleased to hear that in Champaign. Purplecats win.

Michigan State (5-5, 3-3) at Purdue (4-6, 3-3)
So, is Sparty ever going to be on television again? The answer is most likley no, and that’s good, because I don’t think I can watch them anymore. I’m sure more eyes will be turned on this matchup in January when it matters on the basketball court. Until then? I’ll go MSU. They reaaaaaly want to be bowl eligible. Motor City Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl, here we come!

No. 10 Iowa (8-1, 5-1) at No. 11 Ohio State (8-2, 5-1)
Our national nightmare is now over. Let us now determine who will become Duck bait (Iowa by a ridiculous score of 9-7).

This is interesting. They say that there’s a list of BCS conference schools 10-deep that have flat-out refused to play Boise State. The Broncos have even offered to travel anywhere and don’t want to play a home-and-home. Essentially Boise State is offering the same kind of deal that Division-I FCS schools get.

Yet no one will take the bait.

Obviously, the Broncos will almost certainly miss out on a BCS bowl provided they and TCU both go undefeated because Oregon is the only team worth a damn that BSU has played. That makes sense.

But they’re obviously a good team. They have beaten teams by a combined 373-144. That’s not something that mediocre teams can say.

It’s no wonder that nobody wants to play them: The fact of the matter is that 99% of NCAA Division I college football teams are pu$$ys. Look it up.

Florida? Pu$$ys. They haven’t left the state of Florida for a nonconference regular season game since 1991. (They lost to Syracuse that year). Aside from token rival games against FSU and Miami, they pepper their schedule with teams like Charleston Southern and Troy. Next year they are playing a slightly more-respectable schedule against Miami (of Ohio) and Central Florida. Still, pu$$ys.

Texas? Pu$$ys. Although, you got to hand it to them for actually agreeing to travel to Wyoming this year.

Penn State? Major pu$$ys. This year’s entire nonconference schedule? Eastern Illinois. Akron. Syracuse. Temple.

Michigan? Unspeakable pu$$ys. Western Michigan, Eastern Michigan, DELEWARE STATE.

I think you get my point here.

For as much talk we get about Florida and Texas being so damn good compared to guys like TCU and Boise State, it turns out the quality of their competition is not THAT much better. I mean, honestly. Beating Charleston Southern and Troy by a combined score of 118-9 really isn’t a better accomplishment than beating Hawaii and San Jose State by a combined score of 99-16, is it?

That said, Boise State needs to name names. Give us the complete list of the 10 schools that c*ckblocked you. That way we can prove, beyond a shadow of doubt, that those 10 schools are monster pu$$ys.

Don’t want to play Boise State? Fine. You don’t have much to gain from playing them (aside from, you know, making the whole BCS system into less of a sham) but by not playing them you have just as much to lose: Respect. And your manhood.

No. 8 Cincinnati (7-0, 3-0) at Syracuse (3-4, 0-2), noon/ 11c
Bearcats keep on trucking. Syracuse looked good last week to, but they beat Akron. Cincy keeps rollin’.

Rutgers (5-2, 0-2) at Connecticut (4-3, 1-2), noon/ 11c
UConn couldn’t get it done last week for their fallen comrade, but I say they do it today.

Arkansas State at Louisville (2-5, 0-3), 3:30/ 2:30c
Why? Just why? Louisville, I guess.

Big 12
Finally, a league I care about! And know nothing about, apparently. Last week I was an atrocious 1-4 in the Big 12. Admittedly, there were some big upsets: Most notably, Iowa State’s first win over Nebraska in Lincoln since 1977.

Hopefully the upsets don’t continue today.

Nebraska (4-3, 1-2) at Baylor (3-4, 0-3), 12:30/ 11:30c
Nebraska can’t drop three straight games to inferior conference teams. They just can’t. Can they? Baylor better not pull an upset here…

Missouri (4-3, 0-3) at Colorado (2-5, 1-2), 1:30/ 2:30c
I used to think Mizzou was awesome. Now, not so much. Their defense is terrible. Blaine Gabbart will be good in two years but I think we can all see that he isn’t the heir apparent to Chase Daniel quite yet. Also, they got upwards of 30 inches of snow in the Rockies. This does not bode well fort Mizzou.

Iowa State (5-3, 2-2) at Texas A&M (5-3, 1-2), 3:30/ 2:30c
Plucky little ISU beat Nebraska with half the team sick with [swine?] flu. A&M beat Tech with offense. I’m pulling for the Cyclones. Just ’cause.

Kansas (5-2, 1-2) at Texas Tech (5-3, 2-2), 3:30/ 2:30c
Reesing? Heisman? Seriously? No.

Kansas State (5-3, 3-1) at Oklahoma (4-3, 2-1), 7/ 6c
Don’t look now, but the Purplecats are on top of the Big 12 North. I don’t think they can beat OU though.

No. 3 Texas (7-0, 4-0) at No. 14 Oklahoma State (6-1, 3-0), 8/ 7c
Colt McCoy. (I agree with Knoxy, this is the game of the week).

Big 10
Michigan State has now given away three games in the final minute, while Iowa has won three different games in the final minute. Most definitely last week’s game of the week.

Indiana (4-4, 1-3) at No. 4 Iowa (8-0, 4-0), noon/ 11c
Iowa has one last real test before them if they want a shot (however outside) at some major hardware. This, however, is not it. Hawks big at home.

New Mexico State (3-5) at No. 17 Ohio State (6-2, 4-1), noon/ 11c
What the f*%k am I supposed to say about this?

Purdue (3-5, 2-2) at Wisconsin (5-2, 2-2), noon/ 11c
Hey now Boilers, two in a row! And Wisconsin has lost two coming off a bye week. This could be a terrible football game. I’ll go with the momentum and pick Purdue.

Michigan (5-3, 1-3) at Illinois (1-6, 0-5), 3:30/ 2:30c
Boy, Michigan looked bad against Penn State. I was way wrong about them maybe pulling the upset. But they won’t have any trouble with Illinois.

No. 12 Penn State (7-1, 3-1) at Northwestern (5-3, 2-2), 4:30/ 3:30c
The other Purplecats are in good position to finish in the top half of the league. They won’t do it against Penn State, but it will happen. Mark my words…

Michigan State (4-4, 3-2) at Minnesota (4-4, 2-3), 8/ 7c
MSU should win if their defense doesn’t fall apart in the final five minutes again.

A final complaint: This will be the fourth game of the past five of Sparty’s that has appeared exclusively on the Big Ten Network. Next week’s game will also be on the Big Ten Network. Is there some a$$hole somewhere that has personally decided to piss me off? Have I ever wronged any ESPN or ABC executives in any way? I will grovel.

If I had my way, Mr. Izzo would be doing this every year. Does his team have what it takes this year?

Just a quick college basketball update before I return to college football.

Both the AP and ESPN/ USAToday have released their preseason basketball polls, and Kansas was named the overwhelming No. 1 in both polls.

Michigan State comes in at a solid No. 2, with a few first-place votes, while Kentucky received three first-place votes and Texas and North Carolina got one each.

Now, I have some thoughts on this. Kansas returns all five starters from last years’ Sweet Sixteen team. That team, coincidentally, lost to Michigan State.

MSU has seven of its top nine guys back. The losses of Goron Suton and Travis Walton will hurt MSU, but I don’t think Kansas is that much of a better team than Michigan State. Matter of fact, I don’t think Kansas is anywhere near a “runaway” number one team.

If I had a vote (which I unfortunately do not… yet!), they would be on top, I guess. But If there was a way to rank the “degree” to which a team is No. 1, they would most definitely be 6 on a scale of 10. If that even makes sense.

Anyway, here are some more general thoughts:

-The rest of the top ten goes like this, in general order depending on poll: Texas, Kentucky (3), Villanova, North Carolina, Purdue, West Virginia, Duke, Tennessee, Butler (!)

-Yeah, Butler is in the top ten on the USA Today poll. And their schedule will either kill them or put them in the “elite” category this year: at Northwestern, vs. Minnesota (@ Anaheim, Calif.) , vs. UCLA/Portland (@ Anaheim, Calif.), vs. Georgetown (@ the Garden, Jimmy V Classic, vs. Ohio State, vs. Xavier

Essentially, a few big wins and a conference title could give Butler a top four seed. (They Bulldogs also happen to be the only midmajor in the poll… Gonzaga is nowhere to be found).

-The Big Ten has six teams ranked. The Big East has five. The ACC has four and Big 12 has three. I don’t know if that means much, and I don’t know that a team like Minnesota really deserves to be in there, but it’s a nice gesture.

-Also, Michigan is No. 15. Really? I can see No. 20, because Dion Harris is a beast, but 15? Over Louisville?

-Missouri is somehow not ranked. They have 8 “others receiving votes.” They lost a few guys, most notably DeMarre Carroll, but Kim English is a nice returner. No one is going to want to play them this year. Barring some monster brain fart, I guarantee you they’ll crack the top fifteen before the conference season begins.

-UNC is not that good this season. The Heels lost Lawson and Hanborough— you really think they’re going to be a factor in the national title picture? They don’t deserve a top five ranking right now.

-The opera that is the John Calapari saga is actually going to come to fruition. And don’t forget about their cross-state rivals, whose head coach has problems of his own. Circle your calenders: Jan 2 is the official “America’s scuzziest coach” contest from Lexington, Ky.

That’s all I got for now. Except to tell you to read Rush the Court for a better (conference-by-conference) NCAA preview.

Big 12
No. 15 Oklahoma State at Baylor
No, you aren’t even getting team records this week. Why? I’m too lazy to look them up and type them in after copying and pasting. Suck it.

Anywho, I still think OK State is not that good. Yeah, they did beat Mizzou (bad call there on my part) but somehow they just don’t do it for me. That said, there’s no way Baylor even comes within 3 touchdowns.

Iowa State at Nebraska
You know ISU has actually been somewhat good in this decade? I didn’t either, until Wikipedia told me it was true. Also surprising is that the Cyclones have actually beaten Nebraska in this decade. Twice! Really. Not this year.

Colorado at Kansas State
Nice upset by the Buffs last week against Kansas. I’m thinking they can be 2-0 against the entire state this week. Which, admittedly, isn’t that hard to accomplish.

Oklahoma at No. 25 Kansas
I didn’t watch a minute of the OU-UT game, but I think Bradford got hurt again. Are they good enough without him to beat the Jayhawks? (No, honestly, I have no idea, I’ve only seen them play a single half against BYU with him. So I’ll go with KU just because I know what they can do.)

Texas A&M at Texas Tech
Something about Texas Tech makes me really happy inside. Everything about Texas A&M makes me mad that the state of Texas exists (I lived there for a year, those f#(!ers are insufferable). I think you can see where I’m going with this.

No. 3 Texas at Missouri
Homecoming for Mizzou will spell disaster if they don’t stop falling apart in the second half of all their conference games.

Big East
Rutgers already beat Army today (Friday nights? Again? Why?!), so that’s just one less pick I have to make.

South Florida at No. 20 Pittsburgh
USF got steamrolled by the Bearcats, but that’s their only blemish on a solid season that includes a win over the Seminoles. Pitt has done… absolutely nothing. Remind me why people think they’re good again?

Connecticut at No. 23 West Virginia
UConn wins for Jasper Howard. It’s the only pick I can make without sounding like a douche who hasn’t watched either team.

Louisville at No. 5 Cincinnati
Well, OK Cincy hasn’t really done sh!t either this season, but for some reason I guess I like the fact that they seem to be just coming out of nowhere. Also, I have to pick against any team that wears football jerseys that say “The ‘Ville” on them.

Akron at Syracuse
I searched for something insightful to say here, but instead I got this: Nothing. Absolutely nothing will happen in this game, and no one will even notice.

Big Ten
Iowa at MSU just might be the game of the week in the entire NCAA.

Minnesota at No. 19 Ohio State
OK, nation. As much as it pains me to admit as a Big Ten fan, Ohio State is just not that good. I mean, sure, they are KINDA good. That loss to USC didn’t prove much other than that USC is just really good, but the near-miss against Navy combined with the loss at a really, really, sh!tty Purdue team just tells us all we need to know. Seriously, Prudue really sucks. Honestly. Bad. BUT… they’ll still beat the Gophers at home. I think.

Indiana at Northwestern
Northwestern’s three losses have all been close. Then again, so have all three of their FBS wins. They’ll beat the Hoosiers, but it will be a lot closer than it should.

Illinois at Purdue
Basketball season is coming soon (I seem to say that a lot about the Illini these days, huh?). Until then, wake me up when Juice Williams actually lives up to his potential. I’ll go with Purdue just based on last week, despite their major suckiness.

No. 13 Penn State at Michigan
OK. I’ll level with you. I hate Michigan. So much. But they, unlike Ohio State, actually have the tools. They may not be a great team NOW, but just wait two years and they will be a legit top ten team when Tate Forcier gets more experience. On top of that, they have a great shot of pulling off this upset. I’ll go with them today for my upset special.

No. 6 Iowa at Michigan State
This really is the national game of the week, in my eyes. Sure, you could give me Texas-Mizzou, but Mizzou’s defense has not been very good against real Big 12 offenses. At least, not when it counts.

No, give me this game: that touted Iowa defense against Kirk Cousins and a Sparty team with a nicely balanced attack. (Unfortunately, it has been sentenced to the death that is the Big 10 Network).

Regardless, Iowa is just rolling right now, and MSU can’t seem to win any important games these days, besides Michigan. Hawkeyes go 8-0.

Finally, Notre Dame over Boston College and Hillsdale over Wayne State. Peace.

I’m no Limbaugh lover, in fact, I think he’s the biggest a$$hole conservative punditry has to offer (and that’s saying a lot).

But my question is: Why cares?

Plenty of a$$holes run sports teams. Many of them are just as racist and just as conservative than Rush (Ms Schott, anyone?). No one ever cared before— or at least, they didn’t care enough to stop them from actually purchasing the team. Why start now?

Obviously I don’t agree with what Rush says or believes. And I don’t really give a crap about St. Louis or the Rams, so it’s not like I have any personal stake in what he does. Sure, I’d rather NOT see him run a football team… Wait, actually, scratch that— that would be great f#cking theater! I mean, seriously, this needs to happen just for the sake of comedy. Even if it only lasts two months before he gets assassinated by a Rams fan.

Basically what I’m trying to say is why should we give a sh!t if a racist a$$hole wants to buy a sports team? It has no immediate impact on our lives. Unless it’s our sports team.

Which it isn’t, so we’re all good. Let Rush Limbaugh buy the Rams, pull up a chair and make some popcorm because it will be HI-larious.

But before I start with the real teams, I’d like to give a shoutout to my alma mater. It’s not often that I get to brag to outsiders about a place mostly known for its disturbing conservatism and a murder-suicide scandal that was eventually made into a Law & Order: Special Victims Unit episode. (I went there because I thought it was less conservative, more libertarian, yadda, yadda…)

Anyhow, the news is this: Hillsdale College beat No. 1 Grand Valley State University for the first time in 15 years. GVSU hadn’t lost a GLIAC game since 2004. Basically, they were unstoppable. But we beat them. Because we are awesome. Props to you, Charger football team, props to you!

Alright, now, onto the real football picks.

Last week: 17-4 (also had a few non-picks, including Illinois-MSU)

Big East

They’re playing games this week on Thursday AND Friday. They REALLY need viewers, don’t they?

No. 8 Cincinnati (5-0) at No. 21 South Florida (5-0) (Thursday, 7:30/ 6:30c
OK, this looks like it will actually be a good game. The Bearcats intrigue me. I will choose them if only because on the highlights I see, they look like they’re on a roll.

Pittsburgh (5-1) at Rutgers (4-1), Friday 8/ 7c
This is why I hate the Big East for football. They’re seriously going to play this game on a Friday? Who plays on Friday if you aren’t in high school? Why will anyone watch this, and do they think people in their own viewing area will even care? Pitt, I guess.

Louisville (2-3) at Connecticut (3-2), 12/ 11c
In the Big East, nearly every game would be better indoors in the winter. This one is no exception. I’ll keep that in mind when making my picks from now on, and go with Louisville, just ’cause.

Marshall (4-2)at West Virginia (4-1), 3:30/ 2:30c
Does anyone else find it weird, looking back, that Randy Moss went to Marshall? He seems more like a Miami or USC kinda guy. A bigtime guy. Just an observation. I’ll go with the Herd, just for the hell of it.

Big 12

No. 20 Oklahoma (3-2) vs. No. 3 Texas (5-0), noon/ 11c
My colleague says this: “Can we really live in a world in which an Oklahoma team with a Heisman-winning quarterback is unranked?” God, I hope so. I’ll go directly against him and say UT wins big.

Texas Tech (4-2) at No. 15 Nebraska (4-1), 3:30/ 2:30 c
If the Huskers can best Tech, I think we can call them back for good. Can we? Let’s hope. No more Texas dominance. Go Blackshirts.

No. 17 Kansas (5-0) at Colorado (1-4), 7/ 6 c
Remember when CU was a feared football school? Remember when KU was a laughingstock unless you were on the court? This is almost a joyless exercise. Rock Chalk, again.

Baylor (3-2) at Iowa State (3-3), 7/ 6c
Iowa State maybe isn’t as bad as I thought, they almost beat KU. Either that or the Jayhawks just happen to be the best team in a weak division. OK, yeah, nevermind. Baylor.

Texas A&M (3-2) at Kansas State (3-2), 7/ 6c
I will keep picking against K-State until they stop wearing purple. Sorry, Gogol Bordello, but that color just makes K-State look even worse than they are.

Missouri (4-1) at No. 16 Oklahoma State (4-1), 9:15/ 8:15c
Man, does Mizzou get screwed when it comes to scheduling. They’ve played on a Thursday, on a Friday, and now this. 9:15 p.m. eastern? Just who do they think is going to watch this at 9:15 p.m. eastern? Many Mizzou or OK State fans on the east coast? Whatever. We know Mizzou isn’t nearly as good as maybe they should be— that Nebraska loss was embarrassing. But I’m still not convinced about the Cowboys, either. I’d say it’s a wash and pick OK State, barely.

Big 10
Iowa is awesome. I can forgive them their near eff-up against Northern Iowa after seeing that defense against legit teams. My preemptive Big 10 champions. Screw OSU.

No. 7 Ohio State (5-1) at Purdue (1-5), noon/ 11c
I did not realize how bad Purdue was.

No. 11 Iowa (6-0) at Wisconsin (5-1), noon/ 11c
Part 2 of Iowa’s four-part road test. They already won in State College, they have to prove themselves in Madison, East Lansing AND Columbus. I say they do it, I love that defense.

Northwestern (4-2) at Michigan State (3-3), noon/ 11c
Maybe Sparty is back at respectability. They should have been better this year. Guess not. I’ll go with them though.

Delaware State (1-3) at Michigan (4-2), noon/ 11c
You have GOT to be kidding me. Rich Rod cannot be serious here. Can we please get them to lose to a D-IAA school again? Probabaly won’t happen, but God I want it to.

Minnesota (4-2) at No. 14 Penn State (5-1), 3:30/ 2:30c
Penn State. I don’t care.

Illinois (1-4) at Indiana (3-3), 7/ 6c
Juice Williams was supposed to be the “it” QB of the Big 10, wasn’t he? What a tool. Hoosiers.

Independents
Army (3-3) at Temple, 1/ noon c
Big win for the cadets last week against Vandy. They can beat Temple.

No. 6 USC (4-1) at No. 25 Notre Dame (4-1), 3:30/ 2:30c
There are two and only two possible scenarios for this game: 1) USC scores four touchdowns in the first quarter and it is a boring blowout; 2) Notre Dame stays tough the whole time and takes it to overtime for a controversial win. There is no third option. That said, I hope it is choice No. 2 because if not my dd is going to be miserable, and I don’t want to have to deal with that.

Navy (4-2) at Southern Methodist (3-2), 8/ 7c
Don’t these teams play every year? I don’t even know. I’ll pick Navy.

MAC
Eh, not today.

It must suck to be from Missouri today. Glad I only live here and get to revel in their misery.

Also, it rained ALL EFFING DAY, without stop, across the entire state. This surely was an Omen?