Woo hoo! The Cubs called up 20 year old prodigy shortstop Starlin Castro today. He’s totally going to save our franchise and lead us to the promised land, where we’ll all live happily ever after. I heard one time he slayed a giant, then feasted his on golden goose and magic beans before taking the world’s most powerful power nap and then crapped out unicorns. I also heard that he’s possessed by the ghost of Honus Wagner and that on full moons he and his pet dragon surf on rainbows and collect fairy dust which he then sprinkles onto his bat made out of wood from that fucking mother tree from Avatar.
I think that’s a pretty good summary of how any sports fan feels when their big prospect/rookie debuts for their team. The expectations are completely out of control. And you know what? I’m driving that fucking bandwagon. After reading about Castro every day of spring training, I decided that he was our A-Rod, that he had literally every tool known to man except power, which would come as he grew up and filled out. Now I’m trying to temper my expectations and be realistic. The guy i currently batting .376 in AA ball, good enough to force Ryan Theriot, who is batting .341, to move to 2nd base. So here are my tempered expectations: this guy is our Hanley Ramirez. He’s going to do it all. Hell, even if this guy fails and gets sent down, I will continue to make this claim for the next 5 years until it either becomes true or until he has unequivocally proven that it never will. But until then, this guy’s the most exciting Cubs prospect since Sandberg and I’m hoping my enthusiasm about him never changes.
Castro hit a three run homer to the opposite field off of a curveball in his first at bat, then hit a bases-clearing triple in his third at bat. He ended the day with 6 RBI, which is the most by any player in their first game in the modern era. Looks like I wasn’t exaggerating at all.