This is something that actually exists

Somehow, at no point in any phase of concept, development, production, or marketing of this product did anyone say to themselves or their colleagues, “Wait a minute, kids pumping goo onto each other looks a little… you know… like jerking off onto each other.  Maybe this product is a bad idea.”  Nope, that never happened.  Instead, they went ahead and marketed it with a commercial that includes plenty of “money shots” and the line “major pumping required.”  The world is a terrible place.

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