The Other Fifteen

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (yes that is still their stupid name) are facing elimination today in their playoff series against the Yankees.  Normally when the Angels have their back against the wall they turn to their mascot of come-from-behind wins, the Rally Monkey.  Unfortunately they could find no comfort in their primate friend, as he has lost all faith in the Angels’ ability to come back against this monstrous Yankees team.  TOF found the Rally Monkey in a terrible state, drunk and crying, at one of the two Hooters found directly outside the Angel’s Stadium and asked him to comment.

“What’s the f#cking point?!  We’re gonna lose!  I know it, you know it, everybody knows it.  We should just quit, that’s what we should do.  We should just go home, and enjoy the off-season of beating off in public and eating bananas.  That’s right, I said it!  I touch myself in public!  I know it’s wrong, but I do it anyway because I’m a monkey and people think I don’t know better.  Well, lemme tell you something, sduhsafdpoj oiwjwaepoj owihefiubpi wepo pwo…”  The Rally Monkey then started throwing up on himself before being thrown out by the bouncer and passing out on the sidewalk.