There are so many ways the world makes me feel like a total doofus. It’s at least twice a day. Looking at the tow-yard numbers on my car’s windshield. Or my bank account. Or what happens when I try and talk to a member of the female species. When I look at my closet that is a majority of jerseys instead of shirts that an adult might wear. Little did I think writing a silly little blog for this silly little blog would leave me looking like an idiot, but I should have known better. I suppose I never claimed to be an expert on footy, and it’s a good thing, because this weekend proved it. Let’s review:
-I hammer on Hull manager Phil Brown and call Jon Venegoor of Hesselink a Dutch donkey with a long name, and then Hull proceed to bash Wigan 2-0 with Jon scoring. Whatever, he still sucks. And I did that through US tinted eyes, and Altidore needs to be on the field and playing for the Red, White, and Blue to have any chance of doing anything in South Africa. Same thing with Onweyu at Milan — though given their run of results, what exactly is Leonardo holding onto with that lineup? Other than his hair-care products?
-I claimed Tottenham would hammer Bolton, and they barely scraped a 2-2 draw. I keep forgetting that the Reebok Stadium is hard to play in, due to the home team’s miserable style and the empty seats cause a general malaise.
-I did get Arsenal right, at least.
-I thought Everton would roll, and they drew with Stoke. I should get out of the prediction business, though I learned that years ago from days at the track, and I haven’t stopped yet.
I did get some right though:
-United indeed struggled against Sunderland, and barely deserved a draw. Jones and Bent both got on the scoresheet, and when Rooney is looking exhausted, there are very few threats United have right now. You can scream Berbatov until the cows come home, I ain’t listening. Watch for him to score a hat trick at Anfield in a couple weeks now.
Obviously, we have to get to the clash of the weekend, Chelsea’s victory over Pool. I don’t think it was as boring as some made out, but I’m emotionally involved, and being on the precipice of suicide for 90 minutes is never boring. I’ve made my thoughts on Liverpool “winger” Dirk Kuyt very clear before. However, having had time to calm down, I get what Rafa was trying to do. With Riera and Kuyt, Chelsea’s width from the fullbacks was canceled out, making them awful narrow. While Liverpool weren’t dominant, they were certainly more than just in it. The problem with Riera and Kuyt, though, is in attack it’s akin to stabbing someone with a spork or having sex while wildly drunk. With great effort and determination, you may in fact get something done, but it’s highly unlikely. The entire league knows Riera will cut left to try and get in a mediocre-at-best cross, and Kuyt’s preferred method is to hope the opposing full-back passes out from nausea after watching him run in circles for an hour. With Gerrard off-form, it was up to Torres to do it by himself, which won’t work on that defense.
As for Chelsea, they just keep finding a way, but I’m curious what happens at African Nations time. They still need a Mascherano mistake to open the scoring, didn’t look likely without it. However, once Joe Cole gets on the pitch, they’ll have more variance and creativity, which just might be what they need.
-Oh, and Carlos Tevez still sucks.
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