The Other Fifteen

Holy crap, it is 2 a.m. Saturday and I have not made my picks. So no bullshit today, and short column. I’m an idiot.

Big 12
No. 15 Oklahoma State at Baylor
No, you aren’t even getting team records this week. Why? I’m too lazy to look them up and type them in after copying and pasting. Suck it.

Anywho, I still think OK State is not that good. Yeah, they did beat Mizzou (bad call there on my part) but somehow they just don’t do it for me. That said, there’s no way Baylor even comes within 3 touchdowns.

Iowa State at Nebraska
You know ISU has actually been somewhat good in this decade? I didn’t either, until Wikipedia told me it was true. Also surprising is that the Cyclones have actually beaten Nebraska in this decade. Twice! Really. Not this year.

Colorado at Kansas State
Nice upset by the Buffs last week against Kansas. I’m thinking they can be 2-0 against the entire state this week. Which, admittedly, isn’t that hard to accomplish.

Oklahoma at No. 25 Kansas
I didn’t watch a minute of the OU-UT game, but I think Bradford got hurt again. Are they good enough without him to beat the Jayhawks? (No, honestly, I have no idea, I’ve only seen them play a single half against BYU with him. So I’ll go with KU just because I know what they can do.)

Texas A&M at Texas Tech
Something about Texas Tech makes me really happy inside. Everything about Texas A&M makes me mad that the state of Texas exists (I lived there for a year, those f#(!ers are insufferable). I think you can see where I’m going with this.

No. 3 Texas at Missouri
Homecoming for Mizzou will spell disaster if they don’t stop falling apart in the second half of all their conference games.

Big East
Rutgers already beat Army today (Friday nights? Again? Why?!), so that’s just one less pick I have to make.

South Florida at No. 20 Pittsburgh
USF got steamrolled by the Bearcats, but that’s their only blemish on a solid season that includes a win over the Seminoles. Pitt has done… absolutely nothing. Remind me why people think they’re good again?

Connecticut at No. 23 West Virginia
UConn wins for Jasper Howard. It’s the only pick I can make without sounding like a douche who hasn’t watched either team.

Louisville at No. 5 Cincinnati
Well, OK Cincy hasn’t really done sh!t either this season, but for some reason I guess I like the fact that they seem to be just coming out of nowhere. Also, I have to pick against any team that wears football jerseys that say “The ‘Ville” on them.

Akron at Syracuse
I searched for something insightful to say here, but instead I got this: Nothing. Absolutely nothing will happen in this game, and no one will even notice.

Big Ten
Iowa at MSU just might be the game of the week in the entire NCAA.

Minnesota at No. 19 Ohio State
OK, nation. As much as it pains me to admit as a Big Ten fan, Ohio State is just not that good. I mean, sure, they are KINDA good. That loss to USC didn’t prove much other than that USC is just really good, but the near-miss against Navy combined with the loss at a really, really, sh!tty Purdue team just tells us all we need to know. Seriously, Prudue really sucks. Honestly. Bad. BUT… they’ll still beat the Gophers at home. I think.

Indiana at Northwestern
Northwestern’s three losses have all been close. Then again, so have all three of their FBS wins. They’ll beat the Hoosiers, but it will be a lot closer than it should.

Illinois at Purdue
Basketball season is coming soon (I seem to say that a lot about the Illini these days, huh?). Until then, wake me up when Juice Williams actually lives up to his potential. I’ll go with Purdue just based on last week, despite their major suckiness.

No. 13 Penn State at Michigan
OK. I’ll level with you. I hate Michigan. So much. But they, unlike Ohio State, actually have the tools. They may not be a great team NOW, but just wait two years and they will be a legit top ten team when Tate Forcier gets more experience. On top of that, they have a great shot of pulling off this upset. I’ll go with them today for my upset special.

No. 6 Iowa at Michigan State
This really is the national game of the week, in my eyes. Sure, you could give me Texas-Mizzou, but Mizzou’s defense has not been very good against real Big 12 offenses. At least, not when it counts.

No, give me this game: that touted Iowa defense against Kirk Cousins and a Sparty team with a nicely balanced attack. (Unfortunately, it has been sentenced to the death that is the Big 10 Network).

Regardless, Iowa is just rolling right now, and MSU can’t seem to win any important games these days, besides Michigan. Hawkeyes go 8-0.

Finally, Notre Dame over Boston College and Hillsdale over Wayne State. Peace.