I’m a Yankees fan. I love the Red Sox. Yeah, that’s right. Soak it in. I know that team better than any other team aside from the Yankees. I lived in Boston in 2004 (FUCK!) and I watched almost all of their games that season. I need them. I need the 5.5 hour match-ups with the Bombers. I need the disgust I feel for Pedroia and Youk (knowing fully that I would like them if they were on the Yankees). I need the joy I feel when the Yankees beat them. I even need the melancholy and infinite sadness (Billy Corgan: you suck!) I feel when they win. You know what I don’t need? Their goddamn fans.
Aside from my friends (a shockingly high number of them are Sox fans), I think Red Sox fans are the worst fans ever. They live in denial. They act like their team is a struggling little mom -n-pop outfit defending good from the evil Yankees. And the leader of those rosy do-gooders is the mango-salsa eating teddy bear who has to answer to nobody.
“Oh not Big Papi. He would never do that!”
“Oh no way! He spoke out against steroids!”
“His farts smell like roses!”
Yeah, he did it. And now he wants to “get to the bottom of it”. WTF!?!? Are you kidding me? Get to the bottom of what? You took steroids. You cheated. Just admit it. It’s okay, everyone else did too. It’s not the cheating that bugs me, it’s the freedom-fighter mentality. It’s the self-righteous denial. Say what you want about the douchebag on my team (and he is a huge douchebag) at least he admitted it and embraced his douchebaggery (see picture below). Wake up Sox fans. Wake up media. You’re part of the problem by not demanding more from Papi. Where’s his interview with Sensei Gammons? They were about to burn A-Rod at the stake, but we’ll give Ortiz some time to get his story straight. And don’t act like it’s not getting to him. He went 0-5 last night, left 9 men on base, and complained to the ump about not giving him enough time. Douchebag.
Douchebag extraordinaire
Douchebag-in-training
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Thank you JD. Barry thanks you too.
Ironically, tonight’s game was exactly 5.5 hours and the hero was my own douchebag cheater with his 20 homerun of the season. Eleven of those are game-winning or game-tying.
Josh, you couldn’t be more right if you tried. A-Rod is currently and historically being better, including at being “clutch” (check the numbers people). Also, Ortiz’s “apology” for “causing a distraction” and for being careless about supplements and whatnot, which really translates to: I’m NOT going to get to the bottom this, because the bottom of it is steroids. In the end, A Rod is also better at admitting that he took steroids.
Jeremy don’t ever say A-Rod is better at being “clutch”. Ortiz and his clutch play got him 2 rings. A-Rod’s has gotten his team into 1st, that is a big big difference. I know you love fantasy baseball but sometimes it seems like you forget about the fact that these players play for championships.
That’s simply not the case Pat. Yes, Ortiz was “clutch” back in the 2004 playoffs. You can’t say enough about just how good those steroids made him when the game was on the line. But A-Rod kills him in career game winning hits and homers, game-tying hits and homers, insurance runs, average and slugging with runners in scoring position, etc. The career numbers don’t support A-Rod being considered “not clutch.” Just look at what he did to your team this weekend. I like Papi much better as a person, but A-Rod is a far superior player.