Monthly Archives: August 2009

Brittle Old Man to Start for Vikings

August 31, 2009 – 2:05 pm

Breaking news!  Brett Favre has a broken rib.  Get it?  “Breaking” news.  I fucking kill me.  Brett Favre has told Vikings’ staff that he has trouble taking deep breaths and that he likely has a broken rib.  Early reports state that the rib snapped off of the rest of Favre’s rib cage in an attempt [...]

By Jeremy Hawn | Posted in Football | Tagged , | Comments (1)

Yankees Put Banana In Red Sox Tailpipe (not what you think)

August 28, 2009 – 1:07 pm

These two teams fight like little girls. All bets are off: hair-pulling, biting, groin-kicking, eye-gouging, and even this. Awesome!

By JD | Posted in Basketball | Comments (1)

Hey Brett Favre: Nobody Likes You!

August 27, 2009 – 8:21 am

Holy shit.  I revel in bad news about Brett Favre more than almost anyone on the planet, but I don’t think you have to hate the guy to appreciate this.  Here’s a quote from ESPN this morning:
“What two knowledgeable NFL people described earlier this week as an ‘issue’ in the Minnesota Vikings locker room was [...]

By Jeremy Hawn | Posted in Football | Tagged , , , | Comments (1)

TOF Email Chain: Ichiro and Matsui Fight to the Death

August 26, 2009 – 9:12 am
By Jeremy Hawn | Posted in Baseball | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments (8)

Plax: “I Was Not Wearing Sweatpants.”

August 25, 2009 – 6:42 am

In his interview with ESPN’s Jeremy Schapp, Plaxico Burress for the first time discussed the details of the night that he brought a loaded handgun into a crowded Manhattan nightclub and accidentally shot himself in the leg.  He claimed that the bouncers patted him down and knew he had the gun and let him in [...]

By Jeremy Hawn | Posted in Football | Comments (0)

ESPN Pretends They’re Not the Problem

August 24, 2009 – 7:32 am

Right now on ESPN’s MLB homepage, they’re running a video in which they discuss what should be done about fans seeing too many Yankees/Red Sox games.  They discuss demolishing the National and American Leagues, contracting the two teams in Florida, and realigning all the divisions.  What they DON’T discuss, not surprisingly, is how ESPN is [...]

By Jeremy Hawn | Posted in Baseball | Comments (5)

The Evil Kama Sutra

August 20, 2009 – 1:34 pm
By Jeremy Hawn | Posted in Not Sports | Comments (11)

The Switch Pitcher

August 19, 2009 – 12:34 pm

Most people who attempt to throw with their non-dominant arm have an extremely hard time. I was once called a queer for attempting to do so, and as a result I haven’t tried to throw lefty since. However, there is at least one exception to the rule.
Pat Venditte is a switch [...]

By Mark Twan | Posted in Baseball | Tagged , , | Comments (1)

Football Addict Gets His Next Fix

August 18, 2009 – 10:16 am

Brett Favre has changed his mind for the 15th time, and has accepted a contract with the Vikings. “But wait,” you say, “I thought he had decided once and for all to stay retired and live in bumblefuck Mississippi.”  Well, dear reader, you clearly underestimated Brett Favre’s drive to compete, his need to feed his [...]

By Jeremy Hawn | Posted in Football | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments (5)

Baseball Violence Rears its Ugly Head (UPDATED)

August 16, 2009 – 8:36 am

For those of you who missed it, I wrote a piece a few weeks ago detailing why baseball is definitely a contact sport.  Well my point then still stands that, although baseball is violent less often than in other sports, its level of violence is often spectacular and has major consequences.  Well, the baseball gods [...]

By Jeremy Hawn | Posted in Baseball | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments (5)