The Other Fifteen

So for those of you that didn’t see part 1, click here to catch up.  So, given that I like to shave hideous and ridiculous facial hair into my face for the enjoyment of myself and others, I wanted to see if this would serve any purpose other than just providing laughs.  So with a little help from Google, I stumbled onto the World Beard and Moustache Championships.

After looking at pictures of past winners with a combination of disgust and admiration, I decided to click on the “Categories” page.  That’s when I saw it: Freestyle.  That’s my sport!  Freestyle Facial Hair.  It’s no different than snowboarding, other than my ability to actually compete in it.  It’s fun and recreational, it involves funny names for the tricks you can pull off, and it has its own subculture attached to it.

Well I’m here to say, I am officially going to start training for the Freestyle competition.  And I already have an edge.  While everyone else is concentrating on growing something out and styling it with mustache wax, I am going to flip the script on them by carving out the most ridiculous things that I or any of my friends can think of.  It’s going to take a lot of experimenting to get it right, and I’m going to need all the suggestions I can get.  The leading candidates so far are the Charlie Brown T-Shirt (v ^v^v^v^v) and the Hugs and Kisses/Tic-Tac-Toe ( X on one cheek, O on the other).  Please send in suggestions to help me bring home the gold!  But in the meantime, I give you today’s addition: The Swindler (AKA The Bridge over Troubled Upper Lip since it looks like a bridge and even has a boat floating under it).

Proof that I wore this thing on my face all day. You're welcome New York.