Monthly Archives: June 2009

Pedro!

I am laying this out there. The Boston Red Sox need to sign Pedro Martinez. Why not? They’re winning , Henry’s rich, and Pedro is funny , care free, crazy, talented, wears tight white jeans, sometimes says amazing things about mango trees, and probably cough a few strikes over the plate every now and then. [...]

Oops. Looked like I Chose the Wrong Game

So I did a running diary of yesterday’s Cubs v. White Sox game, which ended up being a terrible decision.  It was a horrible game, and I had already committed to watching and commenting on the entire thing. It’s hard to describe just how painful that game was to watch.  It was like having to [...]

Cubs/Sox Running Diary

Cubs/Sox.  The battle for Chicago will be decided today.  Well, not really.  It’s just another game.  If you really want to know who wins, check here and here.  But if you want a quick preview, just look to the right.  I’m pretty sure you know who wins, but just in case, look below it for [...]

Wait, You Can Take Drugs To Get Good at Sports?!? Well Gimme Some!!!

Although anyone with a pair of eyes already knew it, there is finally concrete evidence that Sammy Sosa took PEDs.  Sammy has been revealed to be among the famous 104 names, along with ARod, that tested positive in 2003.  Instead of stating the obvious, or feigning disgust like I’m sure that Disney-owned sports channel will [...]

Sosa Enhanced His Performance? SHOCKER!

Really? Are you surprised? I’m not. After all, he did cork his bat. It almost looks like they share a secret.

“You Have a Booger,” and Other Thoughts on the Lakers Title

So now that the Lakers have won, I feel like it’s my duty as an egomaniac who thinks that everyone needs to hear his opinion on things to weigh in on the implications of the Lakers’ title.
Before I weigh in on Kobe and his 4th ring, I have to mention the hilarious moment when Kobe [...]

Dodging Icebergs Is Hard When You’re Drunk

Sorry Frankie, but you knew what you were getting into. The Mets are the opposite of Mark Teixeira hustling from first on a routine pop-up to win the game. That would never even occur to them. Honestly, can you even picture Jose Reyes doing that?
Every season the Mets begin with a seemingly (although sometimes only [...]

Despite Similar-Sounding Name, Choate Not a Total Chode

It’s been a while since I last visited Fantasy Island.  I think part of that was that I had a lot of moves to make to improve my teams, and didn’t want to tip off my competition.  Is that selfish of me?  Yeah.  It definitely is.  But I care more about my fantasy teams than [...]

Tim Kurkjian Cums in his Pants While Talking About Albert Pujols

An unusual and embarrassing moment occurred during Baseball Tonight this afternoon involving ESPN baseball
commentator Tim Kukjian.  In a segment examining the hitting skills of Abert Pujols, Kurkjian appeared to ejaculate in his underwear.
“Look at that plate discipline,” Kurjian said.  “Nobody has a better understanding of the strike zone, or more patience at the plate waiting [...]