Monthly Archives: June 2009

Cavs to LeBron: PLEASE DON’T LEAVE!!!

In a move that can only be called LeBron-appeasing, the Cavs traded for Shaq today.  This is a good thing for them for a few reasons:
1) Shaq is still one of the top 5 centers in the NBA.  He will provide a post scoring presence for them that will take some of the scoring pressure [...]

Suns Make Blockbuster Deal

The Suns pulled off a blockbuster trade today, acquiring Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic, a 2009 draft pick, and $500,000; and only had to give up some old guy they call “Shack.”  The Suns believe that adding Wallace’s 2.9 points and 6.5 rebounds per game is what they need to push them over that championship hump.  [...]

USA Shits On Spain….. Alexi & John, Jealous

Unlike the other fifteen percent of the world, I was working while the United States soccer team took an enormous shit on Spain.  Once I got home I watched a replay of the game while pondering the absurdity of the Spanish players’ haircuts.  When the final whistle blew, I smiled because I knew that the [...]

Jackson To Coach Lakers Only When Showtime’s Weeds Is a Repeat

“What can I say? I just like the show,” is how Jackson began his press conference on Wednesday. “I think Mary-Louise Parker is a fantastic actress; I’m a major fan.”
Jackson went on to discuss a deal that he and Laker-owner Jerry Buss have been working on since the Lakers won the NBA title. “Jerry (Buss) [...]

Rollin off the rails…a Detroit epic in song

The Dontrelle Willis Fiasco has been written about time and again, so I won’t delve too deeply into it here, other than to point out:
Dontrelle’s nickname (the D-Train, natch) puts him in the rare category of sports stars who can use the music of Ozzy Osbourne and be totally, 100-percent in the clear for doing [...]

I Would Be Sorry That Your Dick Doesn’t Work If I Didn’t Have To Hear About It All The Goddamned Time

So I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this, but there has been a monumental shift in sports advertising over the last decade.  Commercials used to be filled with beer, boobs, and jokes about beer and boobs.  But now all I get to see and hear about during game breaks is how baby boomers [...]

That’s What I’m Talking About!

So the Cubbies just had a crazy weekend that took them from “It’s just not going to happen for them this year” to “once we get Aramis Ramirez back, we’re gonna wreck the rest of the division.”  We had 3 straight amazing 9th inning or extra inning comeback wins, and a blowout on Sunday to [...]

PKDs, or Performance Killing Drugs

Nowadays the news is filled with stories about athletes who use drugs to give them an advantage over their competitors.  However, there aren’t enough stories about athletes who use “performance killing drugs” or PKDs.
The PKD of choice for many professional athletes is marijuana.  In 1998 snowboarder Ross Rebagliati was stripped [...]

U.S. Soccer Wins! Landon Donovan Seen Talking to Red-Colored, Mean Guy with Horns.

On Sunday afternoon, the U.S. Men’s National Team defeated Egypt and advanced to the semifinals in the FIFA Confederations Cup, which is basically a World Cup dress rehearsal. Prior to yesterday’s game, the U.S Men’s National Team sucked really badly in the FIFA Confederations Cup. However, lucky for them, the Italians sucked just as much. [...]

Wade Boggs, You’re My Hero

So for those of you that haven’t seen it yet, Wade Boggs came out with an awesome rant about how steroids at an autograph signing yesterday.  To see it in all its glory, click here.  As good a player as Boggs was, I think he’s been an even better personality since he retired.  If you [...]