The Other Fifteen

Cubs/Sox.  The battle for Chicago will be decided today.  Well, not really.  It’s just another game.  If you really want to know who wins, check here and here.  But if you want a quick preview, just look to the right.  I’m pretty sure you know who wins, but just in case, look below it for exhibit B.  Coincidentally, the game is starting.  Here we go:

1st Inning

Before I can even get setup for this running diary, Dempster gives up a solo shot to Alexei Ramirez.  Fuck!  Glad we got off to a good start.  At this point, the Cubs depend entirely on our pitching.  We can’t score more than 3 in a game right now.  If our pitching gives up a lead early, we’re pretty much done.  1-0 Sox

In the Cubs half, they go down 1-2-3.  Now you know what I was saying.  What the fuck is up with Soriano?  I know he’s streaky, but this is beyond a cold streak.  I’ve never seen his average dip this low.  And he’s not even hurt.  He’s our best player.  We really can’t afford his struggles for much longer with the rest of our lineup slumping (except for a few guys who have warmed up a bit, but I’ll get to that later.  Also, Milton Bradley sucks.  He’s just terrible.  We’re almost halfway into the season now, and I don’t have a single good thing to say about the guy.  1-0 Sox

2nd Inning

It’s interesting to hear the difference between listening to Len and Bob on WGN.  Living in New York, I kind of forget what it was like listening to a good booth team.  David Cone and Ron Darling are ok, but their booth mates are terrible (I’m looking at you Michael Kay).  And the only alternative is listening to Joe Morgan and John Miller, or Tim McCarver and Joe Buck.  I really want to have a “Terrible Booth-Off” between those two teams.  But that’s a column for another time.  While I was typing this, I just heard this sentence from Len, “There’s a broken bat triple for Chris Getz.”  There are a couple things wrong here.  First, you should never give up a broken bat triple.  Second, you should never give up a triple to Chris Getz.  Or really any kind of hit.  Brian Anderson scored on the play.  This is also something that shouldn’t happen.  Honestly, for all the big names on the White Sox, there are a lot of scrubs.  Not role players, straight scrubs.  2-0 Sox

In the Cubs half, Bob Brenly points out that Derrek Lee has a hot bat right now (told you I’d get to it).   This is a really important development since some people, including me, had completely written off his value as a batter.  We really need Lee this year until and through Aramis coming back.  Lee responds to the praise by singling past phenom Gordon Beckham.  The other hot bat is Soto, who showed up fat to spring training, and played about as well in the first two months as he had trained in the off-season.  But he’s been picking it up lately and has been hitting over three hundred for the last month and has been driving runs in lately.  Soto responds with a single that they later call an error.  The Cubs then follow that up with Reed Johnson (playing because Fukudome is in his annual mid-season tailspin) grounding into a double play, then Fontenot grounds out as well.  This is why we are hovering around .500.  You just can’t waste runners in scoring position with no outs.  2-0 Sox

3rd Inning

Len and Bob waste some time talking about the Cubs new hitting coach, Von Joshua.  I don’t think you can put any blame on the recently fired Gerrald Perry.  He had the best offense in the NL last year, now he’s the scapegoat.  But I like that Joshua has lots of experience with our young guys.  He should be able to reach them.  But Bradley and Fuku are lost.  Speaking of our youngsters, they have been the silver lining this year.  Apparently we have some kind of a system going on.  Our call-ups of the last few years include Soto, Hoffpauir, Fontenot, Theriot, Fox, Wells, Marmol, Smardzija, and Marshall.  That’s a pretty good team on its own.  Hopefully this trend will continue.  I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life where I could honestly say that the Cubs had a healthy farm system until now.  In the meantime, the Cubs get a strikeout followed by a walk to Dye and then a double play.  Looks like Dempster is settling down.  2-0 Sox

In the start of the Cubs half, Aaron Miles grounds out.  Everyone is piling on this guy, but I think we should ease off.  It’s not his fault that people are asking him to be mediocre at best when all he’s capable of is embarrassing himself and the game.  But honestly, Bradley was a worse signing (we could have had Abreu or Ibanez for much les money).  Miles is a backup anyway.  That said, the Cubs go out not with a bang, but with a whimper.  Another 1-2-3 inning.  2-0 Sox

4th Inning

In what was looking like the start of another bad inning for the Cubs after a walk to Brian Anderson, the Cubbies snap out of it with a great strike ‘em out / throw ‘em out double play getting Getz swinging and cutting down Anderson as he attempted to steal second.  Hopefully that will energize our offense.  2-0 Sox

Theriot singles to start the bottom half.  I can’t really say anything bad about Theriot.  He has a great approach to the game, and doesn’t kill you in anyway.  He’s a pretty good defender, and has a lively bat.  It’s hard to ask for more ou of a shortstop.  Bradley follows that with a single, moving Theriot to third.  I’m refraining from saying anything bad about Bradley for now.  Lee follows that up with a pop up.  Weak.  We can’t be leaving guys on third all day.  Now we’re set up for a double play.  Soto follows that with a strikeout.  FUCK!  We can’t even make decent contact with a guy on third and no outs.  Lee could have hit either a ground ball OR sac fly, and Soto could have hit a sac fly.  We can’t even get productive outs, let alone productive hits.  Reed Johnson just grounded into a fielder’s choice.  I can’t decide if this means that eventually we will break through and drive home the guys standing on third, or if I should be resigned to the fact that we can’t even score when it’s tailor made for us.  This game sucks, but at least it’s moving along quickly.  2-0 Sox

5th Inning

Beckham leads it off with a single.  Pitcher John Danks follows that with a sac bunt to send Beckham to second.  Great, an AL pitcher is now showing the heart of our lineup how to make productive outs.  SWEET!  Pierzinski grounded out to Theriot at third.  Is there a more hated man in baseball than Pierzinski?  Even his teammates hate him.   Ugh… Soto lets one get away from him, allowing Beckham to move to third.  Our fundamentals are out of whack.  Luckily Dempster got Alexei to pop out to left.  2-0 Sox

Two strike outs and a fly out for the Cubs.  Man, it sucks when your pitcher makes better contact than the rest of your lineup, and even then it’s an out.  2-0 Sox.  This game sucks.

6th Inning

After Dye grounds out, Konerko works the count full as Soto lets another ball get by him.  What the fuck, Geo?  Aren’t you supposed to be primarily a defensive catcher?  Dempster then has a nice stab at a comeback-er, knocking the ball down and throwing it to first to beat Konerko.  Dempster follows that up with four straight balls to Pierzinski.  Did we just pitch around AJ, or is Dempster unraveling?  Either way, not good.  I guess we WERE just pitching around Pierzinski, because Dempster struck out Anderson to end the inning.  2-0 Sox

Here’s how the Cubs half of the inning goes: Soriano fly out.  Theriot fly out.  Bradley single.  Lee strikes out swinging.  Watching this game is like watching old people have sex.  Sex is good.  You like sex.  You like watching sex.  But because of the people who are doing it, it’s not only bad, it’s ruining sex for you.  Now there is a slight chance that you’ll forever associate sex with the horrors of old people doing it.  Well, this game is like that.  Baseball should be fun to watch. Instead it’s making me compare it to old people fucking.  Thanks a lot Cubs and Sox.  2-0 Sox

7th Inning

Dempster walks the first two batters, then gets pulled.  Nice outing dick.  I know he only gave up 2 [turned into 3 later], but his K/BB ratio was bad.  The score is more due to the Sox inability to hit with runners on than it is to Dempster having brought anything to the mound today.  Angel Guzman comes in relief.  John Danks again mocks us by moving a runner over with a fielders choice play.  Podsednik then shows off the wheels with a bunt single scoring Getz.  I thought the NL was the small ball league.  Guzman redeems himself with a double play.  3-0 Sox

Fly out.  Strike out.  Strike out.  Motherfuckin’ hitting coach has his work cut out for him.  3-0 Sox

8th Inning

Dye leads off with a walk.  Here’s the story of the game.  Sox have 7 walks to 4 Ks.  Cubs have ZERO walks to 9 Ks.  And that’s why the Sox are winning and why the Cubs suck my fucking ass.  Konerko singles, then Pierzinski hits a sac fly to left scoring Dye.  You know AJ only hit that sac fly to pile on with Danks on the fundamentals of situational hitting.  He didn’t even care about the run.  True story.  Getz lines out.  4-0 Sox

Aaron Miles opens up with a double.  That was probably just an act of self preservation.  I’m pretty sure if he had struck out, popped out, or grounded out weakly the fans at Wrigley would lynch him.  Nice survival instincts Aaron.  Rookie Jake Fox shows the older guys how it’s done and hits a sac fly to more Miles to third, followed by Soriano driving him home with a fielder’s indifference.  That run doesn’t do us much good now that there’s two outs in the eighth.  But maybe they can learn fundamentals from the rookie for next game.  Theriot strikes out.  4-1 Sox

9th Inning

There wasn't nearly enough of this in today's game.

Some stuff happened but nobody scored.  4-1 Sox and soon to be over.  Praise Jebus.

Bradley strikes out.  Lee grounds out.  Soto flies out.  4-1 Sox

So what did we learn here today folks?  The Cubs suck, this game sucked, and this series has sucked.  First game one gets rained out, now this flaming turd in a bag turns up on my doorstep.  And I couldn’t turn away because I had already committed to writing a running diary.  And don’t think for a second that I’m bagging this post just because the game sucked.  OH NO!  I had to watch this fucking game, so you have to read about it.  And you’re gonna like it, goddamn it!  Fine, don’t like it.  See if I care.