So let’s have a review of the past week in baseball:
The Cubs have lost 6 straight.
The Jays have lost 6 straight.
The Padres have won 9 straight.
What?!?!?!That’s right folks, one team that was built as a contender and one team that was built for mediochrity went from riding high to struggling, while a team that went into the season in fire sale mode ends up crushing their competition. In the midst of all of their winning, the Padres tried to trade ace Jake Peavey to the White Sox, which he promptly shot down BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE TRADED TO A WINNING TEAM IN THE NL, you know, like the San Diego Padres.
As for the two struggling teams, the Cubs are still having trouble driving in runs with Aramis Ramirez on the DL. He’s not coming back any time soon, so they’d better find a way to produce runs through a little small ball, or get Milton Bradley and Derrek Lee going. Speaking of Milton Bradley, just when you think he can’t get any crazier he goes all Carl-Everett-not-believing-in-dinosaurs on us. You see, Milton “Child’s Play” Bradley thinks that umpires are expanding his strike zone in retaliation to his getting tossed from the Cubs home opener. Here is Bradley’s latest philosophical gem:
“Unfortunately, I just think it’s a lot of ‘Oh, you did this to my colleague,’ or ‘We’re going to get him any time we can. As soon as he gets two strikes, we’re going to call whatever and see what he does. Let’s try to ruin Milton Bradley.’ It’s just unfortunate. But I’m going to come out on top. I always do. What am I supposed to do? You lead the American League in OPS, and two years in the top three in the league in on-base percentage. All of a sudden now, I come to Chicago and I can’t see the ball no more? I don’t know a strike from a ball? I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong. There’s a lot involved, and it’s a lot of politics where there’s nothing you can do about it.”
So what did we learn today? Political powers are bearing down on Milton, forcing him to swing at bad pitches. You see, he doesn’t want to swing at bad pitches. As for the good pitches that he hits right to a defender? That is also just part of a massive conspiracy against him. Don’t worry Cubs fans, he’s not having trouble hitting, it’s just a plot by umpires to ruin him as revenge for his insane blowups in the past. He’s not off to a slow start, it’s just politics. Thanks, Milton, for your insightful and not-at-all-paranoid rant commentary.
Back to topsy-turvy week, as Milton Bradley acting crazy is completely normal, The Blue Jays are fading. While they aren’t the best looking team on paper, you figure they can at least stay above .500 for the rest of the year even in the AL East due to ace Roy Halladay and their group of young talent, like Adam Lind and Aaron Hill. But they really have no shot at staying in first with the Rays, Red Sox, and Yankees fighting it out for the top spot. Also, the Orioles are much improved from last year, and will only get better once they realize that Matt Weiters is still wasting his talents in the minors while their current starting catcher, Gregg Zaun, is hitting somethig around the .000000000001 range.
Aside from winning streaks, Michael Cuddyer hit for the cycle, and Joel Piniero had a complete game shut out. Cuddyer has had good seasons in the past, and the cycle is a pretty random and mostly meaningless event, so I’ll pass on comenting on that one. But Joel Piniero having a CG shut out? I think this is Dave Duncan finally saying “I don’t care who the pitcher is, or how bad they are. Give me the shittiest pitcher you can find and I’ll squeeze wins out of ‘em.” First Kyle Lohse last year, now Piniero. It’s like he’s mocking his colleagues. Well, fuck you Dave Duncan. Fuck you for being so good and coaching for my team’s rival.
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